By Sherouck Abdelghani, a biology freshman pursuing the premedical track
The meaning of life, whose components are difficult to digest, has been a mystery since early times. Nonetheless, as ships sail according to and against the winds, the journey of life is full of shifts in perspective, influenced by one's stage in life and personal context. As a university student, my perspective currently relies more on emotions and experiences.
Emotions are beautiful, complex and fruitful. I believe they are one of the essential components of life. They are what help us grow. Sentiments build sturdy leaders who later become unbreakable figures in society. I have been going through many emotions lately. As a person living with a disability, some days are so shiny that the clouds are too shy to cover their brightness. On others, the rain stops the ship from sailing. Going through many surgeries and ketamine sessions has been exhausting. However, communicating my feelings to others regarding my difficult time is a heavy rock on my chest. For the first time, I could understand why Franz Kafka once said, "All language is but a poor translation."
I can feel some parts of the ship getting wrecked, yet it keeps going. Since those emotions were triggered, I sailed toward the land of poetry, where I have felt a state of peace and tranquility that I have never encountered. Life has been better then. My notebook paper and I explore my deep emotions and scars.
Scars are deep caves full of rare gems and diamonds. Pressure can create the most beautiful sites that exist on Earth. I believe that the same concept applies to humans. The agony I have been through has given me the softest heart I have met -- a heart that cares without expecting to be cared for.
One experience that helped me explore my heart was a week as a trainee at the Children's Cancer Hospital Egypt 57357. As each patient came into the room, I made sure they left with a smile on their faces. I could feel their pain. I could see their suffering. I understood what they were going through -- an experience similar to mine.
I made sure to take every child in my embrace and assure them that their ship would not stop at this obstacle. I went home crying, hoping I did not give them false hope. All I ever wished for at this moment was to support anyone going through the same pain I felt; I wanted to give them the help I could not find. During that week, I tried my best to do so, and I decided to volunteer at the hospital after my training ended. This experience was an eye-opener.
Seeing those kids touched a deep scar I have, one I never got to heal from. My disability has caused me to go through surgeries, procedures and an endless cycle of pain. I felt hopeless at the time, with no one by my side. Nonetheless, those kids were fighting with a smile on their faces. They were sailing even if the water was no longer flowing, and it took me down memory lane. I saw myself in their souls. I could see the persistence against all the test results and doctors' comments. Their souls are too pure for such suffering. They had hope despite the pain, and I saw that nothing should stop me from sailing through life, not even my disability.
As I am waiting for my next surgery, all I am thinking of are these kids from the hospital. Despite having doctors say that they might not live long, it does not stop them. They live their lives to the fullest: making friends, attending parties, studying for exams. They stay up at night to watch football matches with their fathers and bake bread on the weekend with their mothers. Their siblings cry in their arms, asking them if they'll die soon. Each replies, "No I will not. We will grow up together and make memories." Though some of them will become a memory instead of making memories, they keep their ships steady until the shore. No matter what they face, giving up is not an answer to their problems.
Similarly, I have been feeling that I must fight my battle, even though I am not sure I will win at the end of the road. However, I am keeping my persistence and observing how the ship goes where the water flows.